i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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