almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
