im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
