we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
