did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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