I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
