I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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