i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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