JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
