"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
