I think i sorta joined a cult last night
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
