I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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