Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize