Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
