I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
