wanna go halves on a baby?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
