Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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