i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
