I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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