Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
