I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
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You took a bar mat shot.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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