I hope mine doesn't look like that
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
