We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
