I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
