Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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