yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
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He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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