I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
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for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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