I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize