Whod you bang
i was born a porn star she said
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
