god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
