if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
