so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
