Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
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Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
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Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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