um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
