I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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