How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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