i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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