I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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