I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
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