So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
