the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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