She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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