I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
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It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
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I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
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