im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize