yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
