Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
