I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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