my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
