we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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