I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
