Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
