What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Randomize
