He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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