i just sent this text using only my big toe
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
