Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
