I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize