he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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