used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize