I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
